Martha

>Writing I

Brainstorm
hosexual, mom, God, Woman, Man, preferences, conflicts, problems, confidence, relationship, friends, go out, truth, cry, feelings, sadness, talk, conversation, change, lifestyle.

Outline
Because my sexual preferences are different, my mom and I don not have a good relationship. a) Conversation that changed the relationship. b) How I feel before/ after that. c) What I hope.

Essay
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.-Bo Bennett .When I was child; I noticed that I had different sexual preferences than the other girls. Because when I saw __the__ other girls dating with the boys, I felt indifferent about __to meet__ a boy. As a result, I always looked for the reason why I did not __worth__ boys. Then, I tried to go out with some guys but I saw them more like friends. On the other hand when I was with a girl I felt so comfortable and it was more interesting than be with boys. I thought how __could be__ if I have a relationship with a girl or with a boy. So, once in __the__ middle school I knew a girl who was homosexual and she used to t__alk me__ about her experiences and her feelings for a woman. Actually, she told me that could be possible that I had homosexual __trends__. She told me that I had to talk about my feelings with my mom but I felt scared __(scare)__ about the idea how my mom __could__ react. My mom believes in God so she thinks that homosexuality does not exist. She thought that I liked men and I will get married to have a baby. When my mom did not know about my preferences she __trusts__ me and we had better relationship. Therefore, when I told the truth to my mother about my preferences, I noticed that our relationship changed. I have different sexual preferences and my mother does not accept that is why our relationship changed. Once my mom told me that she notices strange things __happen__ in my life. Besides, she told me that my friends were weird and __she wanted that I left my friend__s. We were talking about my friends and my work and then she asked me about my sexual preferences. Before that, I felt nervous because I got the feeling that my mom wanted __asking me that.__ Actually I did not have the idea how I was going to answer her. When she asked me about it, I tried to tell her everything, my feelings with woman in contrast with man, and tell her that women interested me. I failed and I started crying because I knew that I had let my mom down. She was crying too but she cried because she was disappointed. While she was crying I felt sad but at the same time __I get rid__ of a lie that I could not fake. After that talk the relationship with my mom __had__ big changes. I wanted to talk more with her but she did not want to speak more with me. I saw how she got confuse and distrust me. Nowadays, if I want to go out with my friends she thinks that I am going to do bad things. She __see__ that be homosexual is the worst thing that could happened with me. She told me that I cannot be homosexual because I am a girl and I cannot be with a girl. I told her that __be__ homosexual is not a change that happens with the time, because my friends told me that I have to be homosexual, or it is a life style. I told her tha__t is__ since I was born but she did not understand me. I feel bad and sad because I need my mom __far__ me. When I see all my friends speak with their moms or get confidence between them I compare with the relationship that I have with my mom. Actually, I have more trouble maintaining a conversation with her and even if I try we cannot. Moreover I cannot see her lot because I work and our relationship is more difficult of maintain. I feel something strange in my heart that I cannot describe since the day that I told the truth. Once that I told the truth about my sexual preferences to my mom it made that our relationship changed. When I lived this experience, I learned that lie is the worst thing that exists to escape form the reality. Now the relationship with my mom is harder to keep and is more difficult speak with her about my personal life. The confidence between us does not exist as before even if I try to do my best. I think that she needs time to understand me and get the idea that my preferences are not just a life style. I hope that I will recover the confidence soon and she can understand my feelings.

Writing Goals
// With this project I hope that I can improvise my writing and i will check how can I work with my // weaknesses.

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